Saturday, 23 March 2013

Postponed and Followed Up

My last post was about the heart drop I had planned for our trip to science world which I ended up postponing. I have two daughters and sometimes plans change when you have kids. In this case plans changed because of a discipline issue with the oldest. Instead of a day at the Science Centre we spent the morning fixing a mistake and learning the whys and why nots and also what would be a viable alternative solution.  One of the sucky things about parenting is that you have to give up fun things sometimes so that you can raise a responsible person but I digress....

You've a good Heart. Sometimes that's enough to see you safe
wherever you go. (Neil Gaiman from the novel Neverwhere)
The heart was left sitting behind the plexiglass covering
the commemorating plaques on the Seabus that travels
between Vancouver and North Vancouver.

On Thursday my troop and I packed ourselves off to visit some of our favourite people and I took the opportunity to drop off the Science World heart in the Seabus. There's a rush of Adrenalin when a drop is made which is why this project is one that I feel I have to do. It takes me out of my comfort zone and puts me in a position where I may be confronted by what I'm doing. I'm a fairly shy person. My tongue gets tied in knots easily. The possibility of having to explain myself, explain this project to someone I don't know is a little on the terrifying side. So putting myself in this position is about me breaking out of my box and putting myself out there, kind of like how it feels when you are offering up your heart to someone new. There's a distinct possibility that what you are offering will be rejected. There is a distinct possibility that someone (perhaps the Seabus personnel in the case of this drop) will ask me what I'm doing, tell me I can't leave my heart on the Seabus.

And then there's the very real possibility that the heart I've left behind won't be given the attention I'd like for it to have. Perhaps someone will pick it up and toss it in the lost and found, in the recycling or even in to the trashcan without even taking the time to read the message I've left. There's a very real element of rejection in this project that pushes me to continue on because with each drop off that elicits no response brings me closer to the drop that will have someone visiting this blog and leaving a message that they have found a heart or visiting the facebook page with the same message.

There could be a tendency to look at each uncommented upon heart as a failure which could lead to giving up the act of leaving hearts to be found. Pushing past the desire to give up is just as important to this project as dropping off the hearts.

Are you here because you've found a heart? let me know, leave a comment. Don't feel comfortable with that? that's OK too, please feel free to come back and visit again anyway. This door is always open.

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